Excerpt from a local Newspaper:
STUPID UNKNOWN
CHICKEN IS STILL
LARGE.
After weeks of unexplained murders, the ominous unknown chicken is still fat. After a big chicken has been found, a young boy states that he survived one of the chicken's attacks and bravely tells his story.
"I had a bad dream and I woke up in the middle of the night," says the boy, "I saw that for some reason the window was open, even though I remember it being closed before I went to bed. I got up and shut it once more. Afterwards, I simply crawled under my covers and tried to get back to sleep. That's when I had a strange feeling, like someone was watching me. I looked up, and nearly jumped out of my bed. There, in the little ray of light, illuminating from between my curtains, was a chicken. This wasn't a regular chicken; it was a dark, fat chicken. It was bordered in fat and... just plain out disgusted me. That's when I saw its mouth. A long, horrendous beak that made every hair on my body stand up. The figure stood there, watching me. Finally, after what seemed like forever, it said it. A simple phrase, but said in a way only a mad chicken could speak.
"It said, 'Cockadoodledoo.' I let out a scream, that's what sent it at me. It aimed its sharp teeth at my heart. It jumped on top of my bed. I fought it back; I kicked, I punched, I rolled around, trying to knock it off me. That's when my dad busted in. It threw the knife, it went into my dad's shoulder. The man probably would've finished him off, if one of the neighbors hadn't alerted the police.
"They drove into the parking lot, and ran towards the door. The man turned and ran down the hallway. I heard a smash, like glass breaking. As I came out of my room, I saw the window that was pointing towards the back of my house was broken. I looked out it to see him vanish into the distance. I can tell you one thing, I will never forget that face. Those cold, evil eyes, and that psychotic smile. They will never leave my head."
Butcher are still on the look for this chicken. If you see any chicken that fits the description in this story, please contact your local butcher department.
lol chickens